MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: The one piece of advice I stopped giving new moms

The question I get the most is "What is it like to be a mom?"  And I usually say something like "it's exhausting, but it's awesome!" which is 100 percent true, but what is that really telling you about motherhood?  I remember being terrified before my daughter was born, in my mind people who became parents had a special set of skills (insert Liam Neeson voice), and at the time my skills included memorizing all the words to "Back that thang up" on the first try.  Clearly I was in trouble, so I sought out advice from every person I could find. Relatives, friends, even strangers became sort of a pseudo parenting council that I could bounce questions off of when needed.

Recently I thought about all the advice that I had received while I was pregnant, (swaddle/ don’t swaddle, don’t co-sleep, put some cereal in that milk) and how much of it was really helpful?  The one piece of advice that came up constantly was to “sleep when the baby sleeps” because new moms need lots of rest.  Hey now, I’m all for it, but do you know how most babies sleep?  They don’t get up at the end of a long day and say “Well I’m beat, think I’m gonna turn in for the night (yawn)” Hell no, they sleep at 11am, 2pm, 7pm, etc etc etc.  If you can keep up with that, then God bless you, but it made me crazy!  I couldn’t get anything done.  So instead of sleeping when the baby slept I used that time to do laundry, cook, clean, basically whatever I wanted to do for my spirit.  And yes I was tired A.F., but I was getting shit done which made me feel good.

So no, I will no longer tell new moms to “sleep when the baby sleeps”; instead I will tell them to do whatever makes them feel good.  I will tell them to lean on their spouse, family, and friends.  I will tell them to accept casseroles when they’re too tired to cook, and invitations to babysit when their just too damn tired.  To fold the clothes that same day, or next week, or whenever the hell you want.   Because at the end of the day this journey you’re on is all about protecting your new mama spirit, loving on that baby, and crushing this thing called life, 1000 percent.

Disclaimer: I know 1000 is not a percentage, I’m extra..lmao.

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: My five promises to you on your 5th birthday

My sweet little girl....

It's become sort of a yearly tradition my promises to you on your birthday.  It's my hope that when you look back on these promises that I have exceeded your expectations.  When you were born it felt as if my life was just beginning.  With you came the greatest love I have ever known.  And as you grow there are a few things I never want you to forget: 1. I always have your back, 2. You can do or be anything you want to be in this world, and 3. Never be afraid to fail.  This list goes on but we'll save those for another birthday.


Today as you enter your fifth year of life these are my promises to you:


I promise to be patient


The phrase "I can do it" is your new way of telling me to take a step back because you got this!  As you grow so does your independence, and that can be a little tough for mommy to handle.  But I promise to be patient with you as you learn your way, only slightly hovering nearby....




I promise to be present


The days move by fast, it literally feels like you were just born, and now we're celebrating your fifth birthday! This promise is an important one because it's me making a promise to you to be more present everyday.  No phones, no T.V., just you and me doing whatever you like.  This includes your funny made up song game,  or reenacting Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time.  P.S.- Why am I always the beast?


I promise to let you go.....again


I know, I know, I've made this promise before....I'm working on it! But your my baby so I'm taking baby steps, okay?


I promise to set a good example


It's true what they say, children follow what you do, not what you say. You know how I know? I got you to eat apples because I was eating them!!!  This might not be such a big deal, but it proves the point that I am your first example.  So I promise to always put my best foot forward, and to eat all my veggies so you will too...heh heh.


I  promise to always be your biggest supporter


And finally I promise to always be your biggest supporter.  To always speak life and blessings over everything that you do.  I promise to clap the loudest, stomp the hardest, and to "yaaaas baby yaaaaaas" your entire life because you are not just my child, you are my everything.


Love Always,

Mommie