MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: A NEW YORK FASHION WEEK SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR MOMS TO BE

Me, 7 months preg

New York Fashion Week is here and I couldn’t be more excited.  Though as a mom now I spend most of my time in comfort wear, I do still enjoy getting dressed up for fancy occasions.  I originally wrote this post back when I was seven months pregnant with Mickey and attending shows was high priority.  If you’re a mom to be here are a few tips to get you through New York Fashion Week:

Flats are a must

Kudos to Kim Kardashian for rocking those five inch heels well into her pregnancy, but when you're running from show to show high heels just aren't practical.  With that being said you shouldn't have to sacrifice style for comfort, so invest in a pair of funky flats in a fun print and keep on stepping. Brands like Kelsi Dagger and Steve Madden offer some really cute options.

Your charger is your best friend

Now this one is not just for those of that are expecting, it's for everyone attending New York Fashion Week.....don't forget your charger for your phone, laptop, iPad, etc. With the large amount of tweeting, texting, blogging, and picture taking that you will be doing you can expect your battery to be low a few times a day. And for me I need to be reachable at all times, so I pack a spare charger and seek out outlets like a bloodhound.

Water, Water, Everywhere

As a pregnant woman you constantly need to stay hydrated. Unfortunately the further along you are the smaller your bladder seems to get, I mean like blueberry size small (TMI yes, but sharing is caring) so know your bathroom locations beforehand. Thankfully most venues have some pretty decent bathrooms for when you've gotta go, gotta go right now, and if not there’s a Starbucks on every corner.

Presentations Please

I love the excitement of a runway show, but sometimes the shows get too crowded, seats are scarce, and you end up with lousy pictures and a sweaty bang stuck to your head (trust me, I know). That's why presentations are your friend. You're free to move around and you can actually see the clothing up close and personal, which in turn makes for amazing photos!

Be a Stream Queen

 Finally, a pregnant woman's best friend is rest, which of course means fewer shows on your schedule.  But you don’t have to feel left out as more and more designers are streaming their shows online. I can catch all my favs live on my laptop in my pjs with my feet up. That's almost as good as front row....almost.

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: 7 GIF's THAT PERFECTLY DESCRIBE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A PARENT

Parenting is the hardest shit I've ever done. Like someone can come to me and say "Hey! I climbed Mount Everest last week" "Yeah, but I'm a parent" "Hey! I just colonized the moon!!!" "Yeah, but I'm a parent" it's that damn hard.  You never thought you could love another human being so much that you could explode, but you can and you will....explode.  You'll explode because the broccoli and cheese macaroni you made for dinner from scratch will be tossed aside with a new found declaration from your toddler of "I don't like broccoli".  But it's okay because these episodes are a few and far between, Okay I'm lying to you, it's all the damn time!!!! But you love them so much you take it with a grain of salt, and a tub of wine.

And because sometimes I just can't put the joy of parenting into words here are 7 Gifs that show what it's like to be a parent, choose wisely:

It’s scary:

It’s funny:

It’s stressful:

It’s joy:

It’s silly:

It’s exhausting:

And finally, It’s everything:

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: ATTACK OF THE 3 FOOT MONSTER AKA THE TODDLER YEARS

Okay, so it goes without saying that I am in awe of my daughter.  She is bright, beautiful, and I'm most proud of the fact that she's funny as hell (ABC's? Nah, tell me a joke!) Like most toddlers she is finding her way and establishing herself as an individual in a world that is still fairly new to her.  It's a wonderful thing to see and I hope to live through it without pulling out all my hair.  Let me explain:

No matter what you hear about the toddler years YOU ARE NOT READY. My beautiful sweet little baby has turned into my boss.  The tantrums come fast and fierce and it takes a lot of deep breaths to parent such a "spirited" toddler (lol).

As parents we have come up with appropriate names for these stages, "The Terrible Twos", "Threenager", "Fournado", it's just how we cope.  You thought tantrums were bad? Wait until you have a toddler telling you "No I am not!”  aah the joy of full sentences.

A million thoughts run through my mind during one of these exchanges, I get it she's three, but maaaaaan she's emptying out mommy’s patience tank on a daily basis. So what do you do?  Well, since running away to Mexico until she's 18 is not an option (I checked) here are a few tips for surviving the toddler years with your edges intact:

Drink Wine and Meditate

After being with a toddler all day you need to drink.  If drinking is not your thing (insert hysterical mom laughter) then I HIGHLY recommend taking a few minutes to find your "OM".  You go from Mommy Hulk to Claire Huxtable in a matter of minutes. Chanting is optional though my favorite is "I am a good mom; I am a good mom...." Namaste.

Run away from home

Before you think I'm crazy I don't mean forever. Take a day for yourself, by yourself to do whatever you choose. It'll be fun and when you get back you'll miss your kids so much you won't mind that they smeared peanut butter all over you new couch. It was so new....

Form an all mom support group

I never feel better then when I talk to my mom friends. You've got a picky eater? Well they do too and you can hug, laugh, and cry together.  In the words of the great philosopher Dr. Dre they have "been there, done that" they have survived and you will too.  Find some moms, make friends; you’ll thank me for it.

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: THREE THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE BECOMING A MOM

Though I'm almost three years in I still consider myself to be a new mom. I'm still learning and growing into the woman and mom that I want to be, food stains,spilled milk and all.   There are nights that I'm too exhausted to sweep and days where my healthy dinner plans turn into takeout.  Times when I'm racked with a case of "mom guilt" so severe that it feels almost paralyzing. I've never felt more human in my entire life than I do as mother. Navigating my way through the many emotions of motherhood often leaves me sobbing into my Vegetable Lo Mein.

But I wouldn't jump into a time machine and change any of it.  The decision to have my daughter was by far the best decision I have ever made.  It has made me a better person, a stronger person who continues to grow stronger every day.  With that being said I have a few things I wish I knew before becoming a mom:

1) As a mother you will forever be a work in progress

There is no "perfect" when it comes to motherhood.  As a mother you will forever be evolving and changing into the type of mom that your child needs you to be at that time in their life. The one constant is that every action will be from a place of love and THAT'S what matters the most.

2) Time is not your friend

Time is like Ice cream, it goes too fast and you never have enough of it (most of my zen like quotes contain food references).  Before I had my daughter it seemed like I had all the time in the world.  Now I'm lucky if I get to read a magazine, and my baby? Well I'm gonna blink and she'll be in college at this rate!  But you've got to slow down, play a little more before bedtime, and dance a little more before dinner.  While time may be fleeting, your memories are forever.

3) You will be an emotional wreck

Finally while I'm no Rambo, emotionally I considered myself to be a pretty tough cookie. Well now, my daughter calls me "mama" and my eyes start leaking strange salty fluid. I just never knew I could love another human being so much until I had a child.  So be forewarned, and always carry tissues. 

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: 9 MOMMIE BLOGGERS SHARE WHAT THEY REALLY WANT FOR MOTHER'S DAY

When you think of Mother's Day you think of showering that special Mom in your life with flowers, maybe a nice card, or something sweet to show them that they are loved and appreciated.  Personally a nice quiet day with my family is at the top of my list this Mother's Day and I think that you'll find I'm not alone among other moms.

To prove that point I asked 9 of my favorite mom bloggers to share with me what they really want this Mother's Day here’s what they had to say:

Name: Andrea Arterbery

Blog: www.TheArtOfBery.com

What I really want for Mother's Day is a lovely spa day to relax, unwind and have a bit of peace and quiet. It would also be nice if my son would just, you know, potty train himself. 😁

Name: Kim S.

Blog: www.BeautyandtheBumpnyc.com

For Mother's Day I'd really love a family vacation since we haven't had one in close to a year. We need to connect as a family without the everyday distractions of work, blogging, etc.

Name: Valerie Pierre

Blog: www.Mommyrandr.com

What I really want for Mother's Day is a solo vacation. The weekend away will let me have some extended mommy me time to indulge in activities just for me so that I can return home feeling rejuvenated and recharged.

Name: Charlotte Betts

Blog: www.milknhonee.com

I'd love to sleep in ... at least until 8am, but my toddler's internal clock is set for 6am and she's not happy until everyone is up haha! Truth be told, I'm a simple gal! Lots of hugs and kisses from my little one and just being able to enjoy my little family is what I want this mother's day... and donuts... lots of donuts.

Name: Akia René

Blog: www.MyBeachIsBetter.com

For my first Mother's Day this year all I really want is take out from my favorite Thai restaurant and to enjoy it on the couch with my husband, glass of wine not optional.

Name: Fatima Lora

Blog: www.motherhoodthroughmyeyes.com

This Mother's Day, I'd love some "me time," even if it's an extra half hour in bed, and chocolate-covered strawberries. :)

Name: Shaniqua Garvin

Blog: www.BrownMediaMama.com

I would love to finally sit at home, relax and binge watch TV with my son. Or sleep in and then go to the spa with the Mamas in my life, my mom, aunt and besties. Forget the dressing up and going out

Name: Christina Brown

Blog: www.LoveBrownSugar.com and www.BabyBrownSugar.com

(Photo Credit Kesha Lambert)

What I REALLY want for Mother's Day (besides a cleaning lady and maybe a pair of Louboutins) is to guarantee that my baby girl will grow up happy, healthy and with an unlimited well of self-confidence. I struggled so much as a young girl with feeling confident in my looks and what I want for her is that she is happy with who she is - always!

Name: Danielle

Blog: www.Momwifefoodie.com

All I want for mother's day is to spend time with my family building more memories together!

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: THREE PROMISES TO MY BABY GIRL ON HER THIRD BIRTHDAY

Hello Heart,

We've reached another year together and my heart threatens to explode from my chest because it's filled with so much love.  Twelve months seems to go by so fast as I watch you grow.  I see glimpses of the person you will become, kind, funny, smart, strong willed, and I like her...a lot.  Being a toddler can be tough, you want it all and you want it now!! And as we both are learning to be more patient (insert smile), I'm finding that this age may secretly be my most favorite.

In celebration of your birthday I make these three promises to you:

I promise to be my absolute best

This last year was tough, we lost Pepaw and Auntie Helen and mommy was really sad. I fell back into old eating habits, and didn't give my absolute best to the things I love to do creatively.  Thankfully I had you and your dad to keep me going strong.  So I promise to you that as we go into another year that mommy will be at her absolute best, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I promise to be present

Mommy works, a lot, but nothing is more important than you.  I promise to play more, live more, and laugh more with you. I promise to get sand on our feet and sun on our hair this season. I promise to ALWAYS be there.

I promise to let you go

Now this is the one that I will have the most trouble with. This is the one that will have the future version of mommy sobbing into her Birkin (goals, lol) as you go off to college. I promise to let you go and to only slightly hover over you when you explore. I'll keep you safe, but I'll let you slide, and jump, and run.

Just not too far, okay?

XOXO,

Mommy

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE...AKA THE FIRST STROLLER I EVER OWNED.

I've never really considered myself to be a sentimental person. I throw things away without much of a second thought; at least I did before I became a mother.  There's something about motherhood that makes you want to hold on to every little thing. The outfit they came home in, bibs, onesies, and handmade blankets, all become little precious treasures making a home in your heart.  Maybe it's because time, which seemed to move so slow, now seems to move too fast.  Your baby is a now toddler, so you hold on to these things that bring back the sweetest memories.  You smell, you hold, you hug and you remember what those first mommy moments felt like.  Never could I imagine that I’d be teary-eyed at the sight of tiny bibs and socks. She’s my first child and we’re growing up together.  My hope for her is to continue to grow into a person who is kind, strong, and loved.  And as her mother I have grown into someone I never thought I could be.  This would explain my new found sentimental nature as well as my need to hoard everything of hers. 

My sentimental side reared its mushy head again when the first stroller I ever owned cracked a wheel recently and I was heartbroken. It was a Peg PeregoSwitch Four and lasted me through three heavy New York City winters.  It was my first baby shower gift, sturdy with a large undercarriage and heavy enough to handle the city streets.  In the summer it went for long walks in the park, and on more than one occasion it doubled as a shopping cart.  I became a mother with that stroller and when it was time to throw it out man I cried like a baby. I wanted to hold on to it as long as possible, even though I knew it was time to let it go. I'm imagining this is what it's going to feel like when my daughter goes to college.

I can tell you now that I’m not ready.

My own mother was the same way; she still has my first set of baby shoes which are encased in a bronze frame.   She always gives me great clarity when it comes to parenting, shared in my stroller sadness. But she also made sure I knew that motherhood is about growth and continuous change, "You're doing a great job" she said, which of course made me feel like I won the mommy lottery.  There is no one’s opinion that matters more than that of my own mother when it comes to parenting.

So those tiny sweaters will turn into bigger sweaters, and strollers will be a thing of the past. She’ll go to college, meet the love of her life, and eventually have children of her own to hug,I'll just have to deal with this new sentimental side of myself and the mushiness that comes along with. Oh and my stroller? While it may be off to "stroller heaven", I did keep the cup holder. :)

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: IS DAME DASH RIGHT?

Recently Entrepreneur Damon Dash gave an interview with Power 105.1 the Breakfast Club that left many people talking. And while I didn't agree with everything he said he did make some valid points, one of those being that if you're not hustling for your children, then you're selfish. Harsh yes, but is he right? Now we all hustle in different ways and for different reasons, but when you're a parent the word hustle takes on a different meaning.

For a long time my life had no real focus. I was young and had many things I wanted to do, but none I took seriously. I was a t shirt designer, a song writer, a singer, a Jane of all trades you could say. A dreamer with a mountain of dreams and no focus and that was fine pre-motherhood, but nothing refocuses your life like having a child. The woman you were before you became a mom is gone and in her place a better, stronger woman will develop. Not right away, though, you will fumble, you will mourn for the loss of your free time, but then you will rise. You will look at this child you've created and wonder how you ever knew love without them and you will want better for them than you had. That is not a jab at your parents, because they gave you the best life that they could. In fact they are the ones that instilled in you the values that will make you work harder than you ever have in your life for your own children.

It's that love for them that acts as a motivator, which puts a battery in your back so to speak. So once my daughter was born I had a talk with myself and made a promise to start taking my life seriously, to live my dream and to help her to live hers as well. So I'll hustle, because you only get one life and you've got to make it count. Not just for yourself but for your children because they are your legacy.

Like Dame said "I hustle for my last name. I don't hustle for my first"

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: NINE THINGS I REALLY WANT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

While I don't necessarily consider myself a romantic per se, Valentine's Day ropes me in every year.  The sappiest sentiments make me ooh and ahh like a teenager, and everywhere I look there's an overload of cuteness. Roses, candy and roses, puppies and roses, it's just so darn adorable.

Many will crowd the perfume aisles and lingerie stores in search of the perfect gift.  This year I'm closing in on my third year of motherhood, and while I love cuddly teddy bears and chocolate truffles I'm more inclined to ask for gifts I can really use, Hint: Sleep makes an appearance on this list.

So keep your flowers, here is Nine Things I Really Want for Valentine's Day:

1. An Automatic Laundry Folder

If it's good enough for Jane Jetson it's good enough for me.  And while we're at it throw in that automatic mop if you love me.

2. Sleep

I'm not talking about a nap. I need an all day, pee in a bucket by the side of the bed, wake up looking 18 yrs. old sleep. I want to emerge from the bedroom looking like characters from the TV show Lost. Now that's a good sleep. Wait, weren't they dead?

3. A Fancy Dinner Date

We love our children, but once in a while I want to be able to have a nice sit down dinner alone, just the two of us.  One where I'm not cutting anyone's food into eighths, this includes you Dad.

4. A Bath

I can't remember the last time I took a bath. When you become a mom you start taking these 30-second prison showers like you're a character on Orange is The New Black. Then you're constantly sticking your head out of the curtain with soapy "crazy eyes" to tell your kid to sit down. Calgon, take me away dawg.

5. Now stop, Sexy Time!

This one is beneficial for us both. You, Marvin Gaye and 30 good minutes are all I need. Wink, Wink.

6.  Wine

A bottle of wine is always a good gift. Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Every Day, wine just works.

7.  A housekeeper

If you happen to run into some extra cash I wouldn't be opposed to someone else cleaning up. Just sayin'

8. Make Dinner

Gordon Ramsey I am not, so I will not judge your cooking.  I love you madly so whatever recipes you've got in the stash I will eat. Want to make grilled cheese every night? I'd tear it up like Eddie Murphy did those crackers in Raw. "This is not regular cheese, this is Muenster, nom nom nom"

9.  A Freeze Ray

Finally, I'd like a freeze ray to freeze all of our precious family moments. I'd also use it to eat, pee, wash, read, and sleep in peace. We wouldn't want it to go to waste now would we?

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